So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think your dad took our porno
My dick has a subreddit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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