just survived the first fart of the relationship.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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