Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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