Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
