Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
