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• (415): View more from California

  i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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• (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED

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• (360): View more from Washington

  The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dick very happy bro

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.

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• (585): View more from New York

  He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.

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