I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drunk is not a location!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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