Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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