Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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