do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I could fuck to npr.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
