she was so not down for the gang bang
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
