why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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