Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
