Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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