She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
