Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
