i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
