WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
