If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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