Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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