So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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