all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize