so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
