There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
