I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize