So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
