hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
