fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
