Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
