Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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