Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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