Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
