Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
