can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
