Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize