I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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