i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
