Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
