I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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