I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
