We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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