He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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