she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
