I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
