i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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