Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
