It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
