Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
