she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
