I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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