Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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