It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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