She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
