okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
