I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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