Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
