If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
