OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
