he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
